A collection of the highlights reel that’s my odd life
I can’t decide if I attract the bizarre or if I just notice it more than others. So far, I have had some strange/hilarious/questionable things happen to me in Spain. I wish I could’ve told each story in detail, but living life is just so time consuming.
Instead, I’m going to give a list of the weird happenings to give you all a taste of my experience here.
1. No random Spanish man in your 30s… you may not keep me as a souvenir
On my first night out in Madrid, I was leaving the infamous club Kapital when a Spanish man that apparently wanted to take me home physically picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. He also recited the entire storyline of The Princess Bride and adapted it to make me the “Blue-Eyed American Princess.” …I’m not even kidding. (Don’t worry Mom: I told him he was the quintessential Spaniard that mother’s warn their children about before sending them abroad.)
2. Do I look like a fire hydrant?
I was lying in a park and I started to hear running water. I looked up and saw a dog peeing on me… A dog peed on me…I have been peed on by a Spanish dog… Is this some kind of initiation process?
3. When that super chill guy gets real awkward
I was playing wing woman for my friend so she could hang out with her soon to be Spanish boyfriend. We were at what he described as “the poshest club in Madrid” with one of his other guy friends and a couple. One would assume that when there are three guys and three girls going to a club (and there are two couples in the group) the single guy and the single girl would hang out for social acceptability purposes. Nope. This guy (who had been totally cool before we were in a dancing situation) became a tangled assortment of limbs vaguely but fervently bobbing to the music while he avoided me like the plague. So there I was, in the “poshest club in Madrid,” dancing alone. #Fail #WingWomanOfTheYear #ShutUpIKnowHashtagsDontWorkThisWay
4. Oh language barrier. Stop trying to make me look like an idiot in front of my host mom
I was talking to my host mom (who is an elderly woman who can’t hear well) and I mistranslated what she said. I thought she told me there was going to be tornados and assumed she was talking about the ones in Oklahoma. I mean, of course the weather in Oklahoma is international news. So I asked her if she was talking about the United States. Nope. Turns out she was just trying to tell me that it was going to rain this weekend in Madrid.
Then there was this other time when I was trying to ask her where my laundry was but mixed up my prepositions. I accidentally asked, “Do you know where your clothes are?” Awkward.
5. Playing chicken with a bus
My normally lovely, wonderful, fantastic, stupendous, above-par roommate made us late to a Saturday morning school excursion that we had paid €45 for. This resulted in me running down the street…straight at a moving bus…to avoid getting left behind. Anyone who has seen me run knows that this about 97X funnier than if it was anyone else running.
This isn’t even all of the hilarity that has come my way in the last month, but it gives a pretty decent glimpse in on my adventure.
I hope all of you back home are making your own adventures. I expect many coffee/story dates when I return so I can hear all about them.